That Spotlight Isn’t There
Therapy for Social Anxiety in Los Angeles, Orange County, CA, and Throughout California
You mentally rehearsed what you were to say, but it still came out all wrong. You feel that sudden rush of heat rising to your face as your chest tightens over your racing heart. Your hands get clammy, your voice feels like it’s about to crack, and your words seem to be coming out all jumbled. You’re sure that everyone around you is noticing… evaluating… judging. It feels like there’s a spotlight shining on you, highlighting your every move. Your hands start to shake and the more you try to make it stop, the worse it gets. You wish you could crawl into a hole and disappear.
Your mind floods with the typical ‘what if’ questions and mind-reading thoughts. What if they think you’re stupid or weird? What if they no longer want to include you? They’re probably trying to be nice by not saying very much. But you’re sure they think the worst of you now, and will probably start excluding you.
The constant fear of being judged is overwhelming. Making eye contact no longer feels possible. And you’ve completely stopped paying attention to what anyone else is saying. You’re consumed by what is happening in your inner world. You excuse yourself as you escape into the restroom and frantically figure out what to do next. Should you pretend that an emergency came up and then grab your stuff and go? Would that make it more awkward? You decide to slip away when no one notices and go back home, all while replaying the scenario in your mind.
What is Social Anxiety Disorder or Social Phobia?
Eleanor Roosevelt once said, “You wouldn't worry so much about what others think of you if you realized how seldom they do.” To those living with social anxiety, adopting this message is quite challenging. Individuals with social anxiety tend to overestimate how much others are noticing them. They get caught in the fallacy that their every move is being scrutinized. Social anxiety disorder, also known as social phobia, is characterized by the constant fear of being judged by others, negatively evaluated, or embarrassed in social situations. For some, the mere thought of being in a public or social setting is enough to trigger anxiety. For others, the anxiety will be triggered before or during a social interaction. The interaction could be with an acquaintance or unfamiliar person, an authority figure, a romantic interest, or in a group setting.
The triggers vary from person to person. The intensity of symptoms can also vary according to the situation. It’s common for many of us to experience anxiety in social situations at some point. However, individuals with social phobia will experience significant distress when confronting these situations. Individuals will generally have a physiological response and may go to extremes to avoid these situations. In the process, they reinforce unhelpful beliefs that are not based on facts. Their symptoms generally limit them in multiple areas of their lives.
It may come at a personal cost with developing friendships and romantic relationships. It can affect work life by limiting co-worker interactions and participation in meetings. It can cause academic struggles with class participation and presentation assignments. Social anxiety can make it difficult to ask for help or express needs. Doing everyday tasks in the presence of others can be challenging for some. This can include eating, drinking, working, reading, speaking on the phone, or using public restrooms. Attending public events can be quite difficult.
Connection and a sense of belonging are not just a want, but a human need. We need it to thrive mentally and physically. Social anxiety can lead to reduced social support, loneliness, and can lead to self-confidence issues. The good news is that it is something that can be treated.
Is the constant fear of being judged taking over your life? Are you terrified of making connections? Therapy for Social Anxiety could help.
You don’t have to do it alone- let’s work through this together! Connect with Therapy for Social Anxiety in Los Angeles, Orange County, and throughout California.
You may benefit from Therapy for Social Anxiety in Los Angeles if you are:
Experiencing pronounced fear in social interactions or situations.
Living in a constant fear of being judged or negatively evaluated. You are afraid of being socially embarrassed or rejected.
Avoiding social situations that bring up a lot of anxiety or enduring them with a lot of distress.
Getting caught up in frequent mind-reading, jumping to conclusions, and catastrophic thinking patterns.
Engaging in unhelpful thought loops before and after social situations or interactions.
Very inward-focused. You are extremely conscious of your thoughts, feelings, sensations, and inner experiences. You are less focused on what is happening outside with others.
Relying on safety behaviors to help reduce anxiety. This can include avoiding eye contact, rehearsing what you will say, bringing a ‘safe’ person to accompany you, having an escape plan in case you feel uncomfortable, etc.
Experiencing physical symptoms when facing social situations. This can include blushing, increased heart rate, nausea, dizziness, sweating, trembling, etc.
Social Anxiety Treatment in California can help you:
Shift your thinking through new experiences that contradict old and unhelpful beliefs.
Spend less time analyzing past situations and upcoming future ones.
Expand your social network and make more meaningful connections with others.
Do the things that you’ve been avoiding because of fear.
Feel more confident in confronting uncomfortable situations.
You’re tired of feeling like a nervous wreck around others. The constant fear of being judged doesn’t have to be so overwhelming.
Therapy for Social Anxiety in Los Angeles, Orange County, or anywhere in California, is only a step away. Set up a 15-minute intro call below!
Where can I learn more about Social Anxiety and Social Phobia?
Anxiety & Depression Association of America (ADAA)
The ADAA is a non-profit organization with a wealth of information for the public. You can learn about anxiety disorders, depression, and other co-occurring disorders. There are educational materials on generalized anxiety disorder, social anxiety disorder, panic disorder, obsessive compulsive disorder, etc. Resources include articles, blogs, webinars, podcasts, downloadable infographics/brochures, book recommendations, and more.
National Social Anxiety Center (NSAC)
NSAC is an association dedicated to providing evidence-based treatment. It makes contributions through research and educating providers and the public. Their website has helpful resource videos and blogs specific to social anxiety disorder.